Mommy, I Don’t Need You:
About Grown-Up Kids and Immature Parents
Chapter 1
About Grown-Up Kids and Immature Parents
Chapter 1
What am I going to do if she goes to jail?
Okay, let’s break this down.
Would I visit her in prison? Honestly, I don’t want to. That’s an experience I definitely never planned on having.
How long would she be in there? Let’s say five years. I could probably handle visiting once a year—after all, I live in a different city. Once a year feels doable.
But what are those visits even like? Is it like in the movies where you sit on opposite sides of a glass wall and talk through a phone? Or is it more like a little room with a table and two benches?
How long are you allowed to visit? Fifteen minutes would be more than enough for me.
What do you even bring to a prison visit? They probably search you at the entrance. Are phones allowed? What about food? It spoils so fast. So, visiting once a year might not cut it… Then again, some people probably don’t get visitors at all. She’ll manage without the snacks.
And what if they send her somewhere far away? No, if that happens, I’m not going anywhere.
I’ll need to figure out the logistics too—how do you even schedule a prison visit? Is it a full-on prison with cells and barbed wire? Where do they go for fresh air? What do they do all day?
Honestly, every time I hear the word "prison," it makes my skin crawl. I try not to say it out loud. Even though I’ve come to terms with it mentally, the word still triggers my anxiety. I avoid thinking about it, try to shove it into some mental corner where I don’t have to deal with it.
But I’ve already accepted that she’ll end up there. I’ve made peace with the idea of her being in prison. When it happens—and I’ve stopped thinking in terms of “if”—I won’t be surprised. I’ve prepared myself, mentally and emotionally, for her to end up there. For now, I’m not even thinking about what happens after she gets out—first, I need to figure out what to do while she’s in there.
To be fair, there are upsides to this. I’ll always know where she is, and I’ll know she’s not out there doing something reckless. Because she always does something reckless—that’s exactly why she’s going to end up in prison. It’s that simple.
It’s hard enough controlling an adult with no common sense. It’s even harder when that adult not only lacks common sense but is also convinced they’re smarter than everyone else. She doesn’t just believe she’s the smartest person in the room; she thinks she can trick everyone with her lies. And with this bizarre arrogance, she just keeps lying.
Everyone can tell she’s lying. Everyone sees it. Everyone knows it. People laugh. Her lies are so obvious that now everyone lies back—they pretend they believe her.
I used to wonder: why are all her stories so illogical? Why does everything she says sound so stupid? So… unrealistic, like a fairy tale. Or like a movie. There’s always some kind of trap, something miraculous happens, and everyone’s saved—usually thanks to her cleverness or sheer luck. She’s like a superhero in her own mind.
What always threw me off was how she was the hero in all these ridiculous stories. And how there was always something off about the script: everything would be flowing along, and then bam—this random, unbelievable twist with no details, and suddenly, a happy ending.
Eventually, I figured it out: that’s what happens when you’re lying. When you’re making up stories on the spot, they’re always going to be a little off. But if you repeat them often enough, you start believing them yourself—that’s just how the human mind works. Build yourself a cozy little shelter of justifications, and it’s easy to live in that illusion. They say if you repeat the same affirmations, they eventually start working. It’s the same with lies—you can convince yourself and everyone else of anything.
Sure, people will doubt you at first because it all sounds so far-fetched. But if you keep repeating it, they’ll reluctantly start believing. They won’t have a choice.
It’s nearly impossible to manage an overconfident idiot. Even more so when that idiot has zero empathy. Trying to control someone with narcissistic personality disorder? Forget it. This is someone who feels untouchable, even when they’re caught red-handed. They’ll swear they didn’t mean to do anything bad. They’ll play the victim: they were tricked, set up. They had no idea what was happening. Look at those other people—they’re the guilty ones. Not them. No, they’re practically a saint who just fell in with the wrong crowd. Like in school—hung out with the bad kids, that’s all.
And every time one of her lies works, she laughs inside. She becomes even more convinced she’s smarter than everyone. But there’s a big difference between lying to your dumb friends about being the lead in a choir or working in a circus and lying about being innocent in a criminal case. In the latter, people are bound to catch on—because some of them are actually smarter than her (as hard as that may be for her to believe).
Honestly, though? I think she’s a psychopath. No joke—something is seriously wrong with her. When everything clicked into place, I realized that if she does end up in prison, it won’t be the worst thing. The real nightmare would be if she doesn’t.
Mom—The First Word, The Most Important Word, and Other Romantic Lies
What is a mom?
You’d probably say a mom is the most important thing in life. Sacred.
You’d say a mom is warmth, care, the person you’re closest to. She’s support and unconditional love, no matter what. She’s always there for you. A mom is where you can go and just be yourself. Moms come in all shapes and sizes, but they’re always on your side.
A mom is cold. She’s envy, passive aggression, lies, arrogance, two-faced hypocrisy. She’s the person who’s never there when you need her. The last place you’d go because you know you’ll get nothing there. The place where you can’t relax—where you always have to stay on guard.
Moms come in all shapes and sizes—and some are like that, too.
And what if they send her somewhere far away? No, if that happens, I’m not going anywhere.
I’ll need to figure out the logistics too—how do you even schedule a prison visit? Is it a full-on prison with cells and barbed wire? Where do they go for fresh air? What do they do all day?
Honestly, every time I hear the word "prison," it makes my skin crawl. I try not to say it out loud. Even though I’ve come to terms with it mentally, the word still triggers my anxiety. I avoid thinking about it, try to shove it into some mental corner where I don’t have to deal with it.
But I’ve already accepted that she’ll end up there. I’ve made peace with the idea of her being in prison. When it happens—and I’ve stopped thinking in terms of “if”—I won’t be surprised. I’ve prepared myself, mentally and emotionally, for her to end up there. For now, I’m not even thinking about what happens after she gets out—first, I need to figure out what to do while she’s in there.
To be fair, there are upsides to this. I’ll always know where she is, and I’ll know she’s not out there doing something reckless. Because she always does something reckless—that’s exactly why she’s going to end up in prison. It’s that simple.
It’s hard enough controlling an adult with no common sense. It’s even harder when that adult not only lacks common sense but is also convinced they’re smarter than everyone else. She doesn’t just believe she’s the smartest person in the room; she thinks she can trick everyone with her lies. And with this bizarre arrogance, she just keeps lying.
Everyone can tell she’s lying. Everyone sees it. Everyone knows it. People laugh. Her lies are so obvious that now everyone lies back—they pretend they believe her.
I used to wonder: why are all her stories so illogical? Why does everything she says sound so stupid? So… unrealistic, like a fairy tale. Or like a movie. There’s always some kind of trap, something miraculous happens, and everyone’s saved—usually thanks to her cleverness or sheer luck. She’s like a superhero in her own mind.
What always threw me off was how she was the hero in all these ridiculous stories. And how there was always something off about the script: everything would be flowing along, and then bam—this random, unbelievable twist with no details, and suddenly, a happy ending.
Eventually, I figured it out: that’s what happens when you’re lying. When you’re making up stories on the spot, they’re always going to be a little off. But if you repeat them often enough, you start believing them yourself—that’s just how the human mind works. Build yourself a cozy little shelter of justifications, and it’s easy to live in that illusion. They say if you repeat the same affirmations, they eventually start working. It’s the same with lies—you can convince yourself and everyone else of anything.
Sure, people will doubt you at first because it all sounds so far-fetched. But if you keep repeating it, they’ll reluctantly start believing. They won’t have a choice.
It’s nearly impossible to manage an overconfident idiot. Even more so when that idiot has zero empathy. Trying to control someone with narcissistic personality disorder? Forget it. This is someone who feels untouchable, even when they’re caught red-handed. They’ll swear they didn’t mean to do anything bad. They’ll play the victim: they were tricked, set up. They had no idea what was happening. Look at those other people—they’re the guilty ones. Not them. No, they’re practically a saint who just fell in with the wrong crowd. Like in school—hung out with the bad kids, that’s all.
And every time one of her lies works, she laughs inside. She becomes even more convinced she’s smarter than everyone. But there’s a big difference between lying to your dumb friends about being the lead in a choir or working in a circus and lying about being innocent in a criminal case. In the latter, people are bound to catch on—because some of them are actually smarter than her (as hard as that may be for her to believe).
Honestly, though? I think she’s a psychopath. No joke—something is seriously wrong with her. When everything clicked into place, I realized that if she does end up in prison, it won’t be the worst thing. The real nightmare would be if she doesn’t.
Mom—The First Word, The Most Important Word, and Other Romantic Lies
What is a mom?
You’d probably say a mom is the most important thing in life. Sacred.
You’d say a mom is warmth, care, the person you’re closest to. She’s support and unconditional love, no matter what. She’s always there for you. A mom is where you can go and just be yourself. Moms come in all shapes and sizes, but they’re always on your side.
A mom is cold. She’s envy, passive aggression, lies, arrogance, two-faced hypocrisy. She’s the person who’s never there when you need her. The last place you’d go because you know you’ll get nothing there. The place where you can’t relax—where you always have to stay on guard.
Moms come in all shapes and sizes—and some are like that, too.
