How to Coach Yourself Like a Pro
Let’s be real — coaching has a bit of a PR problem.
We've all seen those seminars where some guy gets down on one knee, spewing generic platitudes to a crowd hanging onto his every word. It's cringey, it’s cliché, and thanks to the rise of internet "gurus," the word coaching now triggers nothing but eyerolls and sarcastic memes.
It feels a lot like the whole positive thinking craze—cheap, overhyped, and designed to sell tickets to the masses.
And honestly, in today’s world, that’s not far off. Social media is overflowing with self-proclaimed coaches whose advice is about as deep as a motivational poster from 2005.
Their content? A buffet of WTF.
Let’s start here: a coach isn’t your life cheerleader,
and coaching isn’t a therapy knockoff.
and coaching isn’t a therapy knockoff.
Coaching Isn’t What You Think It Is
At its core, coaching is a framework of asking questions to help you untangle the mess in your head.
At its core, coaching is a framework of asking questions to help you untangle the mess in your head.
It’s not about the coach’s skills. It’s about your inner work.
What Coaching Actually Is
A coach is someone who helps you sort out that area of your life that feels like a train wreck—be it your career, love life, or sense of purpose.
But it’s not a “get up and slay, queen!” type of deal. It’s more like:
But—and this is a big but—coaching isn’t therapy.
Therapy is for healing. Coaching is for leveling up.
And spoiler alert: a real coach isn’t there to give you advice or make your decisions for you. They’re not your safety net, no matter how much you wish they were.
Wanna Coach Yourself? Start With These 4 Questions
Coaching yourself might sound weird, but trust me—it’s doable. All you need is brutal honesty and the guts to call yourself out.
Here are your four starting points:
Are you even ready to answer these questions without bullshitting yourself?
The Hard Truth About Being Honest
Do you actually know what you want?
Like, can you admit you’d rather spend your days designing cute spreadsheets instead of leading some "visionary" team? Or that you’d love to blow up on TikTok instead of dragging yourself through another strategic meeting?
See what I mean?
Most of us are so busy playing the roles society gave us that we forget to ask what we actually want. A good coach—or, in this case, you—cuts through that noise.
A Mindset Shift: Ask Yourself, Not Your Job Title
Here’s the difference:
Motivation Done Right: Positivity > Self-Torture
Let’s talk about your strengths. Stop tearing yourself apart over what you suck at. Sure, leveling up weak points can be useful, but leaning into your strengths? That’s where the gold is.
For example:
The Harsh Reality: Nothing Happens Without Action
Self-coaching works, but only if you’re ready to do the hard stuff:
So, next time you want to whine about how “coaching doesn’t work,” ask yourself this—did you even try? Or were you just waiting for a miracle?
A coach is someone who helps you sort out that area of your life that feels like a train wreck—be it your career, love life, or sense of purpose.
But it’s not a “get up and slay, queen!” type of deal. It’s more like:
- Digging deep for answers you already have.
- Finding resources you didn’t know you had.
- Creating a real, actionable game plan instead of winging it.
But—and this is a big but—coaching isn’t therapy.
Therapy is for healing. Coaching is for leveling up.
And spoiler alert: a real coach isn’t there to give you advice or make your decisions for you. They’re not your safety net, no matter how much you wish they were.
Wanna Coach Yourself? Start With These 4 Questions
Coaching yourself might sound weird, but trust me—it’s doable. All you need is brutal honesty and the guts to call yourself out.
Here are your four starting points:
- What do I really want?
- Why does it matter right now?
- How will I know I’ve hit my goal?
- What’s my exact plan to get there?
Are you even ready to answer these questions without bullshitting yourself?
The Hard Truth About Being Honest
Do you actually know what you want?
Like, can you admit you’d rather spend your days designing cute spreadsheets instead of leading some "visionary" team? Or that you’d love to blow up on TikTok instead of dragging yourself through another strategic meeting?
See what I mean?
Most of us are so busy playing the roles society gave us that we forget to ask what we actually want. A good coach—or, in this case, you—cuts through that noise.
A Mindset Shift: Ask Yourself, Not Your Job Title
Here’s the difference:
- “I’m a manager, and I want to become a C-suite executive.” vs. “I’ve always dreamed of starting a small business sewing clothes. That’s where my heart is.”
Motivation Done Right: Positivity > Self-Torture
Let’s talk about your strengths. Stop tearing yourself apart over what you suck at. Sure, leveling up weak points can be useful, but leaning into your strengths? That’s where the gold is.
For example:
- You’re bad at data analysis but great at storytelling? Focus on your writing and outsource the number-crunching.
- You’re terrible at public speaking but fantastic at one-on-one pitches? Build from there.
The Harsh Reality: Nothing Happens Without Action
Self-coaching works, but only if you’re ready to do the hard stuff:
- Dig for the answers.
- Be real with yourself.
- Stop waiting for someone else to fix your life.
So, next time you want to whine about how “coaching doesn’t work,” ask yourself this—did you even try? Or were you just waiting for a miracle?
Go ahead. Coach yourself. I dare you.
